alloy jacks

guilt

guilt (1995)

(ZIP 47MB)

This 12-song demo was recorded at Old Plank Sonic Laboratories by Steve Jacula. This was my first recording experience, and Steve was a great guy to work with and learn from. He was also very liberal with the Oberweis milk, veggies, and Wasa crackers.

I regret, however, that I didn't have more recording experience (even on a 4-track) before going to Old Plank. If I had had a little more sense of the whole process, this recording would have been much more impressive. I only say this because I spent so much damn money (my fault, not Steve's).

cassette spine and bumper of my '89 Taurus

As I no longer had a copy of this tape (gave away all remaining copies at our last show) when making the following pages, I was forced to listen to these songs again to get the lyrics. It wasn't a comfortable experience. I didn't know what I was saying half the time (always had a horrible mumbling problem). When I did know what I was saying, I was really embarrassed I phrased things the way I did. Well, I think I was a freshman or sophomore in high school when I wrote these songs. What can I say?

Many thanks go out to Bryan Terada (aka Turtle), who held onto some copies of the cassette and scanned the j-card for the website, allowing visitors to see the cover and me to fill in the gaps in the lyrics.

Martin Kamysz - bass
Tony Mainiero - drums, backing vocals
Charles Ian Chun - guitar, vocals, bass (on Fresh Toast)
Turtle - He'll play bass at our shows 'cause Marty quit!

Recorded by Steve Jacula at Old Plank Sonic Laboratories, November 19-21, 1994, January 10-11, 1995, and February 9, 1995.
Mastered by Mark Richardson at Metropolis Mastering.
Cover painting by Charles Ian Chun
©1995 by We Eat Garlic Music.

Bushido Bitch
words and music by Charles Ian Chun

a cry for help in the distance
a rescuer need there be
a lady comes a flyin'
the opposition flee

off and after them she chases
wields her blade of steel
hack and slash they fall to pieces
no compassion does she feel

try to intimidate her
she'll behead you with a smile
she gets paid
I think she'll be doing this for a while
she's our hero in times of need
watch her and you will see
a warrior honored a feared
she's Bushido Bitch!

a vigilante of the old
an option not ignored
her work is seen with awe
once you taste her sword

she's respected by the villagers
so mind your t's and p's (I later learned that the expression is p's and q's -- Idiot!)
tell her who and you can sleep at night
and you will soon agree

try to intimidate her
she'll behead you with a smile
she gets paid
I think she'll be doing this for a while
she's our hero in times of need
watch her and you will see
a warrior honored a feared
she's Bushido Bitch!

with mastery she slices
perfectly she dices
not a flaw to prevent what she is to do

when in despair
don't have a care
call out her name and price
go alone and you'll make the ultimate sacrifice

try to intimidate her
she'll behead you with a smile
she gets paid
I think she'll be doing this for a while
she's our hero in times of need
watch her and you will see
a warrior honored a feared
she's Bushido Bitch!

Fresh Toast
words and music by Charles Ian Chun

dry your eyes girl and tell me what you're feeling
let me into your world and I swear that I'll be there for you
your depression depresses me and I often blame myself
because I submit to my emotions and I care what you've been through

this is our time and I'll admit my weakness to you
I reveal my feelings for you
I think about you every night
and I (ay ay?) hate myself
'cause I cannot put to rest
my thoughts of that intangible obsession that's embedded in my mind

"nobody loves me," in your drunken state you cry
it seems that you always overlook the other guy
discouraging experience has plagued our recent times
so let's forget when you and I get high

this is our time and I'll admit my weakness to you
I reveal my feelings for you
I think about you every night
and I (ay ay?) hate myself
'cause I cannot put to rest
my thoughts of that intangible obsession that's embedded in my mind

Bleach in Her Cereal
words and music by Charles Ian Chun

Laura, she aggravates me
it's beyond frustration
she's hiding something in what she says
Laura, she intimidates me
it's self-degradation
but I took in all the lies she fed

she's bad for my head
now I think about it, I wish she were dead
I can't explain the way that I feel
I just want to pour bleach in her cereal

she calls me every day
and I lost the power to tell her to go away
N o matter how much I hate her
I know that I'll still love her
and it just might work out someday

I think I'll visit her today, inflate her ego, tell her we'll always be together
but none of these words are for real
I just want to pour bleach in her cereal

she's bad for my head
now I think about it, I wish she were dead
I can't explain the way that I feel
I just want to pour bleach in her cereal

The Brothel Song
words and music by Charles Ian Chun

the sun was bright in the atmosphere
my testosterone level was quite severe
childish thoughts lingering in my head, and I'm sick of being called a queer

I was strolling along with my hand in my pants
off in the distance, an advertising chant
a man's voice was telling me to grab my wad of cash

anticipating his thoughts, I just took off
zipping through the breeze
of all the options I have right now, it sure beats fucking a tree

with the secret password, I nonchalantly knocked
and they let me in through the door
only to be greeted by the sado-masochistic, leather-masturbating, lesbianic whore at

long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
her breasts were just too big for me to measure
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure

this girl was inhuman, this girl was insane
this girl showed no mercy, this girl was well-paid
her professional abilities left me with nothing to explain

from my ankles I dangled from the ceiling
her actions inhumane
referring to a manual of a thousand ways to cause a man pain

I was left as a somewhat satisfied, bleeding mess of flesh
but I left remembering I had left my wallet on her bed

I tried to get back in and they could see I didn't have my wallet anymore
ignoring my persistence, the bouncer just laughed and threw me out the door at

long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
they gave me scars that'll probably last forever
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure

I took 'em to court, and I filed a suit
I showed them that I was not blind
I was charged with a mediocre fine, but every cent they owned was now mine

the courtroom scene lasted two days
my lawyer used every trick known
I eventually won, they're roasting in the sun,
and now I'm the proud owner of

long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
they asked when I'll retire and I said "Never, man!"
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure

[Thank you, lyrics sheet! I couldn't understand a single thing I said.]

Mary Jane
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

I love my Mary Jane
roll her in my sheet of white and suck the sweet breath that she's offering me
I love my Mary Jane
all night I want to keep her to myself and lose my mind within her beauty

the air I breathe
everything I see
affected by her presence
I hope she never leaves
the way she walks
stopping next to me
I've got to get her out of my mind
she is getting me so high

I love my Mary Jane
I see her three or four times a day
sometimes I think that she's too hard to obtain
I love my Mary Jane
am I wasting all my precious time losing brain cells just thinking about her

she envelopes me
I drop dead at her feet
realizing I will never leave
her apathy
she is all I need
complacent knowing she is killing me

but she doesn't like me
I think that I flatter myself thinking I can have her everyday
I'm afraid to face the truth
the fact is, losers just never win the game they never learned to play

[Surprisingly, this song is about an actual woman named Mary Jane whom I had a huge crush on in high school. Never having even tried marijuana, I was amused when the Illinois Entertainer described this song as a "romantic ode to pot."]

Foreshadow
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

a void that's only increasing in its size
a neurosis that I cannot define
my loneliness surmounts me
and emptiness surrounds me
and the thread from which I hang on loses time

all that I desire out of reach
unable to comprehend all of life's complexities
I see myself and wonder why
if it is worth to stay alive
and why I never do what's best for me

persistence, it's my motivation to continue
perseverence, a quality which I ask of you
I have no chemical imbalance to blame my problems on
I just have to search my inner thoughts
and find what's wrong with me

I recollect the life that has passed me by
periods of prosperity I often emphasize
I talk to myself, I cannot lie
but if I fuck up one more time
they'll pull the curtains and hang me out to dry

persistence, it's my motivation to continue
perseverence, there's still so much to do
I have no chemical imbalance to blame my problems on
I just have to connect the dots
and find what's wrong with me

Alina's Latin for Anxiety
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

stratified, but not satisfied
impulsive actions to appease
your reclusion has me suffering a mental atrophy

my moral has lost its tenure
not knowing which side to believe
my value of life's greatest gift is starting to recede

I've drawn a fine line that's dissolving in the rain
life elsewhere begins to progress, but mine remains the same
I know what must be done, I try to uphold my belief
I can't comply, I get left behind, and tranquility's out of reach

complication comes into play, suppressing my attack
I'm doubtful of the outcome of proposals now held back
I cannot work on assumption, that isn't based on fact
isn't there assurance of something easier that that?

I've drawn a fine line that's dissolving in the rain
life elsewhere begins to progress, but mine remains the same
I know what must be done, I try to uphold my belief
I can't comply, I get left behind, and tranquility's out of reach

A Girl Named Lucy
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

I'm the shrieking woman
watch me shatter all the windows in your house
I'll terrorize young children all around
my larynx is belligerent don't you see?
America's ears are bleeding 'cause of me

Auuuuugh! I'm the shrieking woman!

I'm the shrieking woman
cover your ears when I come up to say "hello"
incessant ringing in your head everywhere you go
like a banshee I'll project into the sky
eradicating as it hovers by

Auuuuugh! I'm the shrieking woman!

emptiness occupies the majority of my thoughts
my vocal chords are all that I've got
to confirm my existence, the presence of my being
the significant characteristic that pertains to me

Phases
music by Martin Kamysz
lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

and they shall not be one of us
be pure, kept clean
we judge by what is seen
smokescreen of our insecurity

and we're being forced against our will
to tarnish the image we've worked so hard to build
why do they wear that double face?
don't we know we've gone through that phase?

we're still changing

it was bound to happen
impressions on the young
who's to say who's superficial
it's not the same for everyone

some people have to learn to shut their mouths

Stick 'em Up!
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun

there are children starving
our sales pitch compels you to have compassion
infected bellies enlarging
we need you to take action

we commercialize the sorrowed look in their crying eyes
as if I have anything better to do with my time

stand and deliver
hop on the bandwagon
and you can make a difference too
stand and deliver
you cannot give enough
invest in a child who is drying up
and forty percent will go to me

deficit reduction, "we're being overtaxed"
is it our only solution?
a senator's luncheon
the media's bent illusion
can we rationalize?
is anyone telling the truth?
I'd like to keep most of my paycheck
there's no use talking to you

stand and deliver
has a misleading definition
the farce of the USA
stand and deliver
I think we've had enough
the true interpretation is simply, "Stick 'em Up!"
cheer me on, for I am your king

stick 'em up (the land of the free)
stick 'em up (how else can we succeed?)
stick 'em up (it's highway robbery)
stick 'em up

Guilt
music and lyrics by Martin Kamysz

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
(and so on)

The Punish Song
music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
punishment by Marty Kamysz

punish!
punish!
the guilty will be punished!

"semblance of order,"
the administration pointed out to me
there's no use to retaliate
your learning institution is a military state

wastrels, they wander our corridors
looking for any reason to persecute you for
how long do I have to wait?
when do I escape?
what happened to the justice that made this country great?

punish!
punish!
the guilty will be punished!

corrupt politicians, perverted civil servants
why are we upbraided for what they also do?
courtroom verbal warfare, arguing death row
fighting for what was given to us 200 years ago

wait for opportunity to fall into our hands
authority will not surmount us
we'll keep on persevering until our country's won
and the wastage will wither away

the guilty will be punished!
the guilty will be punished!
the guilty will be punished!
the guilty will be punished!

steve j will be punished!