The Brothel Song
words and music by Charles Ian Chun

the sun was bright in the atmosphere
my testosterone level was quite severe
childish thoughts lingering in my head, and I'm sick of being called a queer

I was strolling along with my hand in my pants
off in the distance, an advertising chant
a man's voice was telling me to grab my wad of cash

anticipating his thoughts, I just took off
zipping through the breeze
of all the options I have right now, it sure beats fucking a tree

with the secret password, I nonchalantly knocked
and they let me in through the door
only to be greeted by the sado-masochistic, leather-masturbating, lesbianic whore at

this girl was inhuman, this girl was insane
this girl showed no mercy, this girl was well-paid
her professional abilities left me with nothing to explain

from my ankles I dangled from the ceiling
her actions inhumane
referring to a manual of a thousand ways to cause a man pain

I was left as a somewhat satisfied, bleeding mess of flesh
but I left remembering I had left my wallet on her bed

I tried to get back in and they could see I didn't have my wallet anymore
ignoring my persistence, the bouncer just laughed and threw me out the door at

I took 'em to court, and I filed a suit
I showed them that I was not blind
I was charged with a mediocre fine, but every cent they owned was now mine

the courtroom scene lasted two days
my lawyer used every trick known
I eventually won, they're roasting in the sun,
and now I'm the proud owner of

long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure
they asked when I'll retire and I said "Never, man!"
long dong silver and blackey's palace of pleasure