This album was recorded and produced in the basement of
my mom's home in Roselle, IL from January to March 1997. Available equipment
was minimal as I lacked luxuries such as a condenser microphone, a compressor,
and the ability to sing or play my instruments. This album was recorded
on a 4-track cassette recorder (Yamaha MT-40).
Right to Responsibility music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
the assertive are taking control of their lives
what else can you do in these times?
but so many are idle and complacent as they trudge along their thinning
lives
who holds the pen that is drawing your path?
your interests don't concern his thoughts
if you trust him, you'll be hearing too much without thinking enough
and you will say that it is all a lie
oligarchy withholding human rights
you're oppressed, that's why your lunch is free
don't give a second thought to your right to responsibility
history's been unkind to those thought unqualified, but
times are changing
it's something the politicians will verify
they're ready to tell the truth
who's going to do the drive-by tonight?
which one of us will be on the front page tomorrow?
is it the government's fault anymore?
and you're wondering who's accountable this time
the man is filling our streets with guns
we'd rather sell drugs than work honestly
give me all I want but I won't accept your right to responsibility
don't depend on anybody else
they don't care as much as you
stop blaming everybody else
the problem always starts with you
they've successfully beaten you down
your spirit has died it's true
everyone has obstacles,
the biggest one is believing in you
Mary Jane music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
I love my Mary Jane
roll her in my sheet of white and suck the sweet breath that she's offering
me
I love my Mary Jane
all night I want to keep her to myself and lose my mind within her beauty
the air I breathe
everything I see
affected by her presence
I hope she never leaves
the way she walks
stopping next to me
I've got to get her out of my mind
she is getting me so high
I love my Mary Jane
I see her three or four times a day
sometimes I think that she's too hard to obtain
I love my Mary Jane
am I wasting all my precious time losing brain cells just thinking about
her
she envelopes me
I drop dead at her feet
realizing I will never leave
her apathy
she is all I need
complacent knowing she is killing me
but she doesn't like me
I think that I flatter myself thinking I can have her everyday
I'm afraid to face the truth
the fact is, losers just never win the game they never learned to
play
[Surprisingly, this song is about
an actual woman named Mary Jane whom I had a huge crush on in high school.
Never having even tried marijuana, I was amused when the Illinois
Entertainer described this song as a "romantic ode to pot."]
Episscopalian music by Martin Kamysz and Charles Ian Chun
this is an instrumental, so there are no fucking lyrics,
alright?!
Girls Suck music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
my life is not my own
it's like a job I don't get paid for
happiness I've never known
I blame myself for not locking the door
I won't kill myself over you
even though I've thought of it before
my existence is diminished with little thoughts of
that one thing I will never have
undesirable
I'm simply hideous to some
years go by as the river dries
I can't share that moment with anyone
tonight I'm going to be alone
just like every other daily ritual
wondering if I have grown
maybe the others roam aimlessly down below
I don't understand why I torture myself
when I don't succeed in the end
when will I be worthwhile to someone else?
when will I be self-satisfied?
undesirable
I'm simply hideous to some
years go by as the river dries
I can't share that moment with anyone
kNEE LLOCk music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
I'll never know the side you choose not to show
you ignore my apprise, but it looks as though you're stuck with me
Ray says I should be drinking
but I can't help thinking of what you might be thinking
if you could live without holding up your guard
maybe then you'd realize that I'm not here to ensnare you
but to share my life with you
if you could see through my eyes
past the teary wells gone dry
so drunk with the loving gaze of the angel so complacent
and you shrug my affection so simply
do you know the thoughts that torment me?
past this angry illusion lies a lifetime of sincerity
if you could only trust me
who would choose to love me?
Baldy music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
what do you think now that you see me?
it's unappealing
I know I could have done better with myself
I did this for you, you know
my personal rebellion
it's embarrassing to say
I did my best to look my best just to fail again
to live with what God gave me
I try to fool myself with some psychologist-sprung ego
and tell myself I'm handsome today
but it's hard to convince myself
everyone stares with derision
I'm still living with the vision
nose in the air
she looks away because she knows I gaze at her
I'll never have her
don't tell me I've ruined my looks
or got the garbage dirty
or wrecked the rot that reeks beneath your sink
I told you it's a statement
if you choose to call me ugly, I'll make it easier for me to believe
am I asking too much?
Flowers to the Gods music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
can I enunciate and include everything I have to say
without tripping over my own tongue?
typical, because I'm such a dumbass
do I dare to try and attempt just one more time
when the odds are always up against me?
I've been through all of this before, you see
how can I be good enough without becoming some macho
scumbug?
weighed down by a rock in a rising tide
maybe I'll just give up, but that would be the act of a poltroon
did it occur to me I'm not anyone's type of guy
flowers to the gods
did my eyes fail me?
but I thought I saw you smiling at me
your own politeness was the only fact
I've known too many girls like that
I don't want to be misled, but this is something unprecedented
initiated with a flower sent and ending in my own embarrassment
how can I be good enough without becoming some macho
scumbug?
weighed down by a rock in a rising tide
maybe I'll just give up, but that would be the act of a poltroon
did it occur to me I'm not anyone's type of guy
flowers to the gods
Poultry music by Martin Kamysz
lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
and who will be the next one to throw me off the mountain?
to prove your worth to everyone
I don't think you try hard enough
I don't approve
I disagree
as I display my ability
but you're the one scared of your own shadow
violence didn't save the world, it will not save your life
it takes a real man not to fight
and when will be the next time to defend myself?
will I scoff and walk away or raise my fists to him?
how much longer must we fight
until we realize that aggression is just a waste of time?
let's try some innovation to deal with our frustration
it takes a real man not to fight
Buy Our Gum! This is a cover of the Wrigley's Juicy Fruit chewing gum jingle,
so I don't know who wrote it.
This was recorded on our very first demo tape in March
of 1993. Boy, Chuck's vocals are really annoying.
[On the recording are Marty (he
introduces the song), Tony, and Charles.]
With Yourself music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
infatuation to the highest degree
I ponder little thoughts
are yours ever about me?
do you twitch when I look at you the way I do?
'cause you know what I thinking
and I notice not a day goes by
without me looking in the window to see if you're inside
do you ever take the time to look out past the clothes rack
hoping to find me watching?
conversation comes only from one side
I speak of the failure that is my life
you tell of secrets you'd prefer to hide
while you listen to me ramble
everyone says you're one of the guys
but I don't think they're looking for the thoughts behind your eyes
friends are always nice to have
deprivation, I need more than that
do I really look good wearing this hat?
you don't need anyone
I guess that is admirable
rejection is my best friend
how can anyone get used to rejection?
I'm not taken well with reality
I realize you will never feel the same way about me
somehow I don't mind
I think that I would only complicate your life
you're too classy for me anyway
I titled this song hoping that someone
would someday call a radio station asking the DJ, will you play "With
Yourself?"
Worthless music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
loneliness is something I've grown accustomed to
pretend I don't exist
reveries of nothing tangible
you know I cannot resist
do you see me more distastefully than I see myself?
do you think you see right through me?
and you know I cannot be helped
I'll always think I need you
why don't you describe him to me
he's the only one who makes you smile
I'm the posterboy of mediocrity
living day to day in denial
the devil won't buy my soul from me
he knows it's not worth the price
and if you ever walk past me
I know you won't look twice
you know there's nothing worth seeing
I feel so cold
I think I'm going to die
I'm told, I'm told
that I'm not worth the time
she tells me that I'm worthless . . .
Fresh Toast music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
dry your eyes girl and tell me what you're feeling
let me into your world and I swear that I'll be there for you
your depression depresses me and I often blame myself
because I submit to my emotions and I care what you've been through
this is our time and I'll admit my weakness to you
I reveal my feelings for you
I think about you every night
and I (ay ay?) hate myself
'cause I cannot put to rest
my thoughts of that intangible obsession that's embedded in my mind
"nobody loves me," in your drunken state you
cry
it seems that you always overlook the other guy
discouraging experience has plagued our recent times
so let's forget when you and I get high
this is our time and I'll admit my weakness to you
I reveal my feelings for you
I think about you every night
and I hate myself
'cause I cannot put to rest
my thoughts of that intangible obsession that's embedded in my mind
Photograph of Portland music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
chewed and callused fingertips
hemp seed oil on my lips
to display an inverted grin
increasingly susceptible to affection I've been denied
false reality sinks in
jealousy is not becoming of me
it's like flowing lava that will not recede
but I cling to you like waterdrops that can't be wiped away
like herpes I just never want to leave
traumatizing chronology
optimism continues to elude me
a stranger I recognize
restoration of confidence that's been absent for so long
inconsistency wears its disguise
I may remain the same
but you seem so content that there's no need for me to change
happiness can be found in each
but I'm going to have to look somewhere else
it wouldn't be any different if I had stayed
misery follows me everywhere I go
I fantasize of what could be
but your plans have no place for me
jealousy is not becoming of me
it's like flowing lava that will not recede
happiness can be found in each
but I'm going to have to look somewhere else
it wouldn't be any different if I had stayed
Piano Lessons (Hardened
Soul)
Music by Hoagy Carmichael
Arrangement by Tony Mainiero and Charles Ian Chun
Who the hell wrote this song? We have no idea! Thanks
to 90.9 FM Chicago and Harry Connick Jr. for indirectly helping us arrange
this tune. [We listened
to the jazz station for about an hour and Connick's recording of "E"
repeatedly for inspiration. I'm happy that, thanks to the Internet,
we've since been able to find out who wrote this song.]
Cory's Birthday music by Patty Hill and Mildred J. Hill
Played live at the ill-fated December 2, 1995 show at
Miliken University in Decatur, Illinois. The bands were the only
people who showed up. [My
god, can't I play Happy Birthday without messing up? On the recording
are Tony, Bryan, and Charles.]
Purely Hypothetical music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
at last
I found you at last
I won't have to wear that frown again
the tears are dry since you decided that I was the one
what took so long?
I almost ended my life
I know it's wrong that my happiness depends on you
more
I won't be alone anymore
isolation will be left in my past
but it will pass when you decide that it is time to move on
someone else has caught your eye
it's not the first time that I was told I wasn't good enough
it hurts more each time
goodbye
you didn't even say goodbye
there's no reason for me to try
I get one chance and I lost the one I had
no one will love me again
A Girl Named Lucy music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
I'm the shrieking woman
watch me shatter all the windows in your house
I'll terrorize young children all around
my larynx is belligerent don't you see?
America's ears are bleeding 'cause of me
Auuuuugh! I'm the shrieking woman!
I'm the shrieking woman
cover your ears when I come up to say "hello"
incessant ringing in your head everywhere you go
like a banshee I'll project into the sky
eradicating as it hovers by
Auuuuugh! I'm the shrieking woman!
emptiness occupies the majority of my thoughts
my vocal chords are all that I've got
to confirm my existence, the presence of my being
the significant characteristic that pertains to me
Can't Help Falling Down Holes Written by George Weiss, Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, and Jean
Paul Egide Martini
[Our cover of my favorite Elvis
song]
Inadequacy music and lyrics by Charles Ian Chun
I don't mind
I have time
my day's a little darker, but I'm the source of all my problems
I won't cry
can we smile for me?
so ideal
my last meal
I've ruined things again
someone peel me off the ground
suicide might have crossed my mind
but I've learned from mistakes and the problems I create
I'm sorry that I scared you away
second best
no regrets
I feel no obligation being unnecessary to you
I'll forget
so will you
it was all in my mind
misconstrued the signs
I'd tell you you were cherished, but then you'd roll your eyes
why do I lead such a tortured life ('cause you're a fuckin' chump!)
Ray's Clown Coat music by Charles Ian Chun
Ray is one of Chuck's best friends. He likes to drink,
write, and drink. He once had a yellow clown coat that got taken away
when his car got repossessed. The End.
